autism

No Talk all Action

The red shirt that Brian has worn everyday for the past 5 years (we have 4 of them) says “No Talk All Action”.  It is not just a slogan, it is how he lives his life.

My younger daughter Catie was upset one night last week and was in tears sitting on the couch between me and my husband. Brian appeared from the other room and came over to Catie, wiped off the tears on her face, and hugged her until she stopped crying. He would not leave her side until she stopped. It was one of the most profound and touching moments I’ve experienced in a long time. Here was my non-verbal autistic son with sensory integration disorder spontaneously comforting his older sister. His love and compassion for his sister which he cannot express in words were so perfectly communicated in his actions. And it is not just to his immediate family that he is loving and compassionate. It is to everyone. Brian cannot bear to see other people upset or hear them cry. Crying is his most hated sound, it always has been. He will always approach a person in distress to attempt to comfort them. Although he cannot speak, he is intimately aware of his environment and every detail of what is going on around him. He is not on some isolated island unable to relate to his surroundings or others. It is the exact opposite. Without any prompting from me or my husband or any other adult figures in his life, he is kind and compassionate by nature. I believe one of our primary tasks as parents is to teach our kids how to treat others with love and respect. It takes effort and vigilance to instill this attitude in kids without special needs, let alone a kid dealing with the challenges Brian deals with every day. Yet Brian treats every person with love and respect. Everyone is equal, no one more important than another. It is a fundamental part of his nature. He is not bitter or angry although he has every right to be. It is ironic but true: the way Brian lives his life and how he treats others gives our family and everyone really, the best example of how to deal with adversity.

He is the teacher, we are the students.

Brian with Catie wearing
 his red shirt. 🙂