I had my annual visit to Mt. Lebanon High School last week!  An event I find so fulfilling and enjoy very much.  I am always very impressed with the student body and the program targeting compassion and kindness but over the years I have learned that there is always one question, conversation or child that greatly impacts me and leaves me thinking. What struck me during this visit were the siblings of children on the spectrum that asked questions or
sought me out, one student in particular, that wanted to talk.  I won’t soon forget her as she left the impression on me that she said I left on her.

This student was struggling with an array of emotions that she was trying to verbalize. Her love and concern for her sibling was so evident but yet I felt like she didn’t think she was doing enough. That seems to be a universal feeling and something I have always struggled with myself and I think my daughters have too. She struggled describing her feelings but honestly she did not need to talk. Her face told me everything. Sadness, concern, self doubt but thankfully she felt relief that she wasn’t alone. I’ve seen that face many, many times and have become familiar with the emotions that come with it.

I wish so much I could have found the exact right words to put her at ease but I’ve learned that this is an impossible task. Having a brother or sister on the spectrum means dealing with overwhelming issues on a daily basis with no definitive end in sight and that is never easy. In fact, it is very confusing and difficult.  The role of a special needs sibling involves great challenges but also great rewards and those rewards will become more and more evident as life moves on. Siblings are trying to figure out who they are, where they fit in and the kind of adult they want to be all while living with the unpredictable nature of autism. I get it. I’ve tried to manage it for decades. It is a lot for anyone to handle let alone a teenager.

Even though I could not find the words to dispel this student’s anxiety I do think there is a path forward! Based on what I know and have seen in my own home it does get easier. Time is on your side and eventually a peace comes over you.  My message today is one of immense gratitude.  I’ve read many articles on siblings and even wrote one last year but we can never show our gratitude and express our thanks enough for this special subset of the autism community.

Through my blog, I have been trying to be the person I needed 20 years ago. I am trying  to reach young moms struggling to adapt to the autism life. A focus just as important, maybe even more so, are siblings.  So siblings that have made it through the teenage years …..please consider reaching out to mentor and take under your wing a struggling younger peer. Be the person to someone you needed! Your insight and experience is invaluable and you just might change someone’s life.

We are so much stronger as a team looking out for each other. 💜
#autism
#autismawareness
#kindness
#labeledtolunderful #ltl
                                                                                       

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