So this is on my mind…..

I find snow falling to be so peaceful, and watching it from inside makes me feel serene. Visually taking in all of nature’s beauty is good for the soul and can act like a reset button if you let it. Brian’s take on snow has influenced me over the years and I’ve adopted his perspective. Snow days for Brian I can’t say are fun in the traditional sense, but we find our joy. We certainly don’t bundle up and head to the 3 hole golf course to sled. In fact, Brian has never once played in the snow. I hate actually admitting that but it is true. I used to think it was something he needed to do because that’s what kids do, but just like Halloween (year after year) I say to myself…..maybe next year, no biggie. Do I care that he watches the snow trickle down from the sky from inside lacking any excitement to physically engage in it? Not a bit. I did, but I’ve evolved and like my sons I’ve grown and adapted to autism. Why place unnecessary demands on him that cause stress?

We do things differently and experience things our way. I like it this way now.

This goes to the point that I’ve said over and over. Things or events that are supposed to be fun and are for typical kids just aren’t for Brian. It takes him away from his beloved routine and that is never a good thing. He never had a desire to be out in the cold and play like my other kids. When he was a toddler he refused to wear the needed snow gear, making it very difficult to go outside. I think it was a sensory thing. Sometimes I wonder if I pushed him enough to do things, like build a snowman, maybe he would have grown to enjoy it. I don’t know but why ponder that at this point? It’s a road to nowhere that I’ve been lost on many times and without directions have found my way back. Thank God because self doubt can be debilitating.

So young mom, you know it’s going to happen. Your friends are going to take their kids sledding, or skiing or snow boarding or whatever and you unfortunately might not. Some of you will (yay you) and some of you won’t. Just like on July 4th with the fireworks display. Holidays, snow days, spring break and many others have been tough over the years, even lonely, but I’ve found peace. The fear of missing out, (FOMO, like the kids say) for both my kids and myself, dominated my life for years but it doesn’t anymore. Get your groove on and find what works because I promise something will! I know how impossible this sounds but please try not to worry about what everyone else is doing. The people you are missing, maybe even envying, may come back into your life, but it doesn’t matter if they don’t. New people are on the horizon and peace awaits your heart. So, if you’re looking at the magical snow fall with your child from the other side of the window, it’s ok! Embrace it! Grab a blanket and some skittles and get cozy. That’s what Mr. #lunderful and I do and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Oh, and did I mention… I hate being cold.